Version of Me

Im sorry for you I could not be some other version of me
One that made staying everything, leaving impossible, and anyone else invisible
One you'd never lie to, cheat on, use up ,throw away.
One you wouldnt give useless promises sealed with meaningless kisses too.
And plans for a life you knew would never happen.
One that saw you for you, excepting and loving all of you even the imperfections

Im sorry for you I could not be some other version of me
One that made colors brighter and moments so full of love and passion that it seemed the whole world had fallen away
One that gave kisses so deep you felt as if I was reaching your soul
One that held your hand as if doing so would save you, hold you as if it was the only way you could breath
One that gave smiles a plenty and gazes into your beautiful eyes that meant a thousand I love yous

Im sorry for you I could not be some other version of me
One that had all the answers and all the right questions
One that knew the reason for every rhyme and doubt was scarce.
One that had confidence and bravery like yours, and an unwillingness to fail, to fall
One that comforted you, supported you, one that said Im sorry and please forgive me
One that was stronger, unemotional, and where the only thing I wore on my arm was my sleeve and not my heart
One that saw beauty in  the small things, good in all things and tried to help you see it too

Im sorry for you I could not be some other version of me
Cause the girl I gave u WAS all these things, did all these things, and you broke her.
And for awhile I would look in the mirror and wonder where she was. 
It has hurt to breath and the thought of trusting anyone again has my heart scared shitless
But with every ounce of strength I have left, I wake up everyday with a strong ache to not cry, not hurt, not fall apart, not ever think of you and realize the girl I used to be is still here, putting herself back together and realizing she is deserving of so much better than what you gave her.